What to wear to a bit of a ‘do’
I asked for some help last week from the lovely ladies who were training on my Ladies’ Style course. I had to work on Friday morning and then drive for about 4 hours down the M1 to Old Windsor (just round the corner from where the Queen lives) to a bit of a ‘do’ that evening.
The Federation of Image Consultants was holding its annual awards dinner and I had won ‘The Most Inspirational Consultant running an Image-related Business Award’.
But what to wear?
I don’t go to parties. I certainly don’t go to dinner dances. I don’t have a selection of evening wear in my wardrobe.
- The problem isn’t even that I don’t dress up
- The problem is more that I don’t dress down
My style personality is pretty Dramatic. I dress for impact and I keel over at the very thought of leggings and a T-shirt. For goodness sakes, I even put my lipstick on to answer the phone! Full make-up to me is what I I wear every single day.
It takes a lot to make me dress UP but here was one of those once-in-a-blue-moon occasions.
As part of a training exercise, these lovely Style trainees interviewed me in exactly the same way as they would any client.
They discovered that my main issues were:
- I needed a glamorous outfit for a glamorous occasion – but what exactly constitutes glamorous for someone who doesn’t dress down?
- I don’t wear skirts or dresses
- I only have one dress in my wardrobe that I bought for a wedding about 2 years ago
- I have lots of sparkly tops that I have never worn
They questioned me quite closely on:
- why I only wear trousers
- why I have some pretty skirts and sparkly tops in my wardrobe that I never wear (I could feel they were desperate to weed out my wardrobe right there and then…)
- what kind of look I was hoping to achieve on the evening
And do you know? It was rather scary.
Because I realised that although I would normally have been quite happy to wear my Dramatic glamorous look of black, tailored trousers with a sparkly top, diamante jewellery and bright red lipstick, something had changed…
… my hair colour
Since I’ve gone blonde, I’ve started to think differently. I’ve already noticed people looking at me differently but as I can don my aloof look at the flick of a finger, that has never bothered me.
What does bother me, though, is how I feel!
I realised that, for the first time in about 3 hundred years, I rather wanted to be a bit girly for a change and maybe this bit of a ‘do’ would be my first opportunity.
As they left the course to return home, the ladies gave me some homework to do, “Try on the black halter-neck top with that swirly Spanish-style black and red skirt and see how you feel. Then try it with the black crochet cardigan and and also try it with the silver and black jacket. They try the same top ensemble with a plain black handkerchief-hem skirt. And if you still feel unsure, wear the black slinky trousers…”
I was always a swot at school so I did exactly as I was told and tried everything on as they said. But wearing a skirt was really weird. You have to show your legs off and I’m SO not used to seeing them, that it made me feel rather peculiar. My legs, by the way, are not fat or lumpy and are, indeed, eminently acceptable for normal public appreciation but that wasn’t the point. I realised that:
- It doesn’t matter if it’s the right colour
- It doesn’t matter if it’s the right cut for your shape
- It doesn’t matter if it’s the right fabric
- It doesn’t even matter if it LOOKS right
What matters is how you feel
If you don’t FEEL comfortable in what you’re wearing, then you’ll BE uncomfortable and you’ll be constantly hitching your pants up or adjusting your bra strap or falling off your high heels all night…
I took the Spanish-style skirt with me – just in case – but when it came to it, I just couldn’t wear it. It didn’t feel right and you have to remember that I am carrying around hundreds of years of experience of feeling good in trousers and hundreds of years of non-experience of wearing a skirt!
So I stuck to my good old faithful slinky black trousers but added:
- the never-worn-before 1930′s glamorous black halter-neck with
- the still-got-the-label-on black crochet cover-up and
- the only-worn-once-at-a-wedding black tottering-tart heels
and I felt really, really good!
I’d managed to combine some glamour with a comfortable feeling.
And amazingly, when you feel good, you look good
Several ladies at the ‘do’ kindly told me they thought I looked wonderful – and from a room full of image consultants, that can’t be too bad, can it?
Here I am with my award. Sue Donnelly, President of TFIC, is in the middle and Pippa Rees, PR Director, on the left. Thanks to Janet Major for the photo.
The next stage of my journey
I have had my cage rattled with these new feelings and I do not intend to let it stop there. Soon, I shall be publishing the whole story of my dark-to-blonde hair journey which should explain a few things.
I’m going to start wearing some of these feminine frills around the house to see how I feel. This is exactly what I would advise a client to do; it’s time for a taste of my own medicine!
Comments
These are just some of the lovely emails I’ve received in response to my newsletter above. People are just so kind.
“This is very inspirational. I wish I was there to see you accept your award! I am sure you deserve it.
If you are in Canada – swing by Calgary and I will be more than happy to show you around!” Domingo, Image Consultant (Canada)
“I would love to have met you at the TFIC do that evening! I heard that you were coming for the evening but unfortunately I couldn’t stay! I enjoy reading your emails and find them very inspirational. As a fairly new image consultant (I trained just over a year ago) I am still trying to ‘find my way’ in the business. On ocassions I doubt my abilities and wonder if I’m ever going to get any new clients! However reading your email this morning gave me quite a lift and has made me determined to believe in myself and get out there! I am passionate about what I do and hopefully I can convey this to potential clients!” Barbara, Image Consultant (Surrey, UK)
“After reading yet another wonderful newsletter (thank you). Congratulations on your award at the recent TFIC conference/dinner! Well deserved I’m sure! You certainly inspire me and I’ve not even met you in person!
I am absolutely fascinated with your story, I didn’t realise you had ‘gone blonde’, what a ‘dramatic’ change to have made! I found your article interesting because I agree, it doesn’t matter how great you look, if you’re not feeling it the whole thing is bloody pointless. What interests me in particular (which I think our clients need to be made aware of) is that we can/do change whether it be a natural progression with age or a one-off life-altering event, that while we’re often ‘aware’ that some internal changes/values/feelings may have occurred, not to forget that we may also need to change/update our ‘outside’ to be congruent with our internal changes.
Anyway lovely food for thought for me and a nice reminder to encourage my clients to look within when suddenly their wardrobes they’ve once loved become a little less inspiring – perhaps they’ve experienced a time for change??
Love the blonde and again, congratulations and thank you for your wonderful newsletters.” Ceeann, Image Consultant (NZ)
“Must tell you that in my opinion you look wonderful with your new hair colour, in fact you have knocked years off yourself!!!!” Caroline, UK
“Thanks so much for sending the newsletter. You looked great and congratulations again.” Janet M, Image Consultant (Cheshire, UK)
“Just wanted to send you many congratulations on winning your well-deserved award.” Sara, Image Consultant (Tyne & Wear, UK)
“I’ve just read your recent newsletter and I wanted to say congratulations for winning ‘The most inspirational consultant running an image-related business’ award! What struck me, about your newsletter, was your realisation that how you feel makes a huge difference, even when the colour, style and personality works. I’ve been working with clients since January now and I always ask my clients how they feel when they are trying on garments – I did my ladies style course with another company (sorry) and I was told not to ask how a client feels but to be firm in saying what works for them. Obviously, I ignored that advice but since my business is taking ages to earn any decent living I started to consider that I was going about it all wrong and started to regret not going down a more formal image consultant route. I wanted to say thank you, Kim, for recognising that in your newsletter as I find that sometimes more focus is placed on theoretical knowledge and not the person as a unique individual with thoughts and feelings of their own.
Many thanks again, Kim, for your newsletters I really appreciate your honesty. Well done for your award, you are truly an inspiration.” Janet F, Image Consultant (Lancs, UK)
“I do enjoy your newsletters, although I could never be an image consultant! I really love the picture of the blue moon. I was interested to hear of your dilemma re the ‘do’. And in the photo you do look very good.
I went to a bit of a ‘do’ last week. I am reading, as a one woman show, T S Eliot’s Four Quartets, at Doncaster Minster, and I went to the preview evening last week. Since I had my colour consultation from you, ages ago now, but as importantly since you gave me the confidence to go out and wear what I want, I went in just what I wanted and I felt good because I felt ‘me’.
Many thanks, and very best wishes.” Susan (UK)
“So very well done for your award, it could not have gone to any one more deserving than yourself.
Warmest congratulations to you, thank you so very much for all your help and kindness to me.” Louise, Image Consultant (Devon, UK)
“Many many congratulations on the award Kim, you really deserve this recognition.” Elaine, Image Consultant (Northants, UK)
