Improvability Blog

Tin hats at the ready. This is a rant!

When I’m introducing colour analysis as a new concept, I always take time to talk about the history of this fascinating subject and that, inevitably, leads to questions about some of the idiotic ideas that have emerged from this relatively modern way of analysing people and their personality.

What I find both fascinating and infuriating is how some of these outdated notions still continue to prevail even when common sense and practical application prove that they’re a load of old tosh.

The biggest most-stupid-on-the-planet myth is that only Winters can wear black.

Oh, lead me to a darkened room, pour me a huge gin and tonic, and leave me alone so I can scream until I’m blue in the face and bite huge chunks out of my pillow.

The sheer stupidity of this statement is beyond belief.

Who the heck says that only Winters can wear black?

• Is there a scientist in the entire universe who has proven this beyond all possible doubt?
• Is there a university-level standard that every single image consultant around the globe subscribes to under pain of having their left leg chopped off?

No and no - are the answers to the above, and do you know why?

Because we’re dealing with human beings and you can’t drop human beings into 4 convenient little boxes like Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter, because human beings are a moving target and are totally and utterly indefinable. And I say, thank glory for that, otherwise I’d have given up this great career yonks ago out of sheer and utter boredom.

So who is it exactly that says only Winters can wear black?

Those pioneers who put pen to paper in the early days of colour analysis came up with all sorts of attempts at regularising the process. I can only surmise that this was intended to make it easier for those who were training to become colour consultants.

Maybe they insisted on a step-by-step, cannot-be-argued-with diagnosis of hair, skin and eye colour to make ‘their’ consultations easier? Because of their insatiable need to know whether they’d ‘got it right’ or not, we’ve now ended up with tables of impractical rules and regulations that completely miss the point anyway.

We have moved on so much since those pioneering days. We continue to learn at an astounding rate with every new client that crosses our portal and yet some folk seem determined to cling on to these out-dated rules as though their very life depends upon it.

Enough is enough.

Colour analysis isn’t about rules

Because there aren’t any. There can’t be. We’re dealing with a moving target - human beings - who change on a daily basis, some from hour to hour (just ask a menopausal woman how she felt an hour ago!).

We have so many parameters to take into account - occasions to be appropriately dressed for, other people’s expectations to meet, and our own personality. How on earth can a set of ‘rules’ cater for real life?

How do you FEEL?

• If you LOOK good in black, then why not wear it?
• If, however, you FEEL fabulous in black, then for goodness sake stop listening to someone else’s inane rules and wear it immediately!

Here’s a great example of someone who shouldn’t - according to the ‘rules’ - be wearing black at all but looks fabulous and feels wonderfully confident about wearing it.

These two photos of my friend Jean were taken while we were modelling together at a recent fashion show:

Jean is a Classic Autumn. And she looks lovely in black. More to the point, she feels fabulous wearing black.

When we first started working together on her wardrobe, Jean wasn’t happy in black at all. She’d been told previously that, as an Autumn, she shouldn’t wear it so she didn’t!

But as we started to find clothes that suited her colouring, her body shape AND her personality all together, we both realised that black was going to play a much larger role in shaping her overall image.

We began with accessories, matching shoes and handbags in black, the ubiquitous black trousers, gloves, and necklaces. Then, one day on a shopping trip, I managed to get her to try on a black top.

Ok, ok, I lie. I shoved the top into the changing booth and told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to come out unless she was wearing it! Jean is a good sport and trusts me that I wouldn’t put her in anything that would make her look ghastly.

She was really surprised by how good she looked and although neither of us would want to see her in nothing but black from head to foot, black is now a great addition to Jean’s wardrobe - as you can see.

Oh, and you’ll notice how Jean’s hair colour puts to rest yet another moronic, mindless myth - that all Autumns and Winters must have dark hair.

What a pile of poppycock - but if you get me started on that one, I’ll still be ranting as they lower me six feet under..

Hundreds of years ago, when I was a mere whippersnapper and had no idea that colour and style advice even existed, I was looking for a dress for a bit of a college ‘do’ when my then-boyfriend said, “If you buy another black dress, you’ll be going on your own.”

Stupidly, I took this to mean that I didn’t look good in black and I didn’t wear it again for quite some time. What a twit I was, and how much time I wasted.

Many moons later I had my colours ‘done’ and discovered my Winter colouring and learned that black is one of my best colours. I had dark hair at the time but even with my current blonde locks, black is still a bit of a stunner on me.

What was his problem?

The problem was that this chap was an Autumn and black wasn’t one of his favourite colours. When I think back, he looked ruddy awful in black so I can now see why he didn’t like it.

He wanted me to wear the colours HE liked - olive green, autumn gold chocolate brown - colours in which a true Autumn would most probably look stunning but both of which make me look absolutely ghastly and in severe need of immediate resuscitation!

Once you understand your own colouring, you don’t need to listen to mis-information like this ever again. You’ll know exactly what suits you, and why. And you can also educate those who insist they know better than you do about what suits you!

Most people base their opinions on their own likes and dislikes

- and some of them just won’t let up

I have a friend who, every time I used to see her, told me I should have my hair cut. As you can probably imagine, this irritated me beyond all comprehension and, over the years, I cut down to a bare minimum the times that I saw her.

Finally though, the trials of remembering to be a lady at all times, smiling sweetly, thanking her for her advice, and saying through gritted teeth that I would bear it in mind just became too much for me. I found myself telling her that I have absolutely no intention of ever having it cut and, if she wanted to remain friends, not to mention it ever again!

“Better out than in”

It’s one of my favourite sayings, and I have to say that I felt so much better.

The fundamental problem here is that she is an out-and-out Classic and wants to see me with a neat, ordered, classically-acceptable hairstyle like her own.

I had to explain to her that I’m different. I’m a Dramatic with Romantic hair and a neat, ordered, classically-acceptable hairstyle like hers isn’t me at all. It’s not my style, it doesn’t reflect my personality and I will wear my hair as long as I flippin’ well want to!

If there’s someone in YOUR life who is offering such self-opinionated and uninformed advice, might this not be a good time to set the record straight? Just tell them it’s a slightly belated New Year’s resolution and you need to get this off your chest…

Wearing what someone else likes will only make you grumpy in the end

I suggest that you go and find out which colours are the best ones for you, find out which styles suit your body shape and personality (and which ones don’t), and then you will know what makes YOU look absolutely fabulous.

And then you can confidently:

• ignore people who don’t take YOU into account
• educate them as to what really suits you
• or ‘do a Kim’ and tell them to mind their own business!

Meatloaf sings, “TWO out of three ain’t bad,” but a mere 1 out of 3 is absolutely terrible!

A glossy flyer arrived through my door this week, from a major High Street name in collaboration with a well-known designer. It says (and I paraphrase):

The top 3 things every woman should have in her wardrobe for the Spring season:

1. A statement necklace to update last year’s knitwear
2. A slim cropped trouser with flat sandals, painted toenails or high-heeled strappy shoes
3. A plain or printed dress to wear plain at the office or add jewellery and high heels for evening

I groan audibly whenever I read such nonsense yet grudgingly have to agree with the general (there’s that hideous word again) consensus that these people are only attempting to offer generalised advice.

I absolutely won’t apologise for this but my standards are a lot higher than generalised advice so the question I continue to ask about stuff like this from people who should truly be able to do a lot better is, “Why bother?”

My concern is that some lady desperate for advice on how to update her wardrobe will read this stuff, believe it, copy it and look a right mess as a result.

• What exactly is a ’statement’ necklace? And what does ’statement’ mean to different personality types? Dramatics and Creatives will wear ’statement’ pieces to empty the bins whereas a Natural isn’t going to wear a ’statement’ anything…
• A cropped trouser? That finishes where exactly? I searched for a definition and found this for the current season - ‘a trouser that stops halfway between the knee and the ankle’. Blood and sand! Drawing a line right across a plump calf muscle is hardly going to make anyone look attractive. And what if you’ve got sparrow legs…?
• The dress that can be accessorised for socialising after work? This is the only one out of the three really worth talking about to a ‘general’ audience but what about those who wouldn’t give up their trousers for all the tea in China?

The whole thing smacks of generalised, average, mediocre advice which, in my book, without adding in each individual person’s body shape and personality just translates into nothing more than misinformation.

These are absolutely NOT the top 3 things that EVERY woman should have in her wardrobe for the Spring season.

Because we’re not all the same. We’re different, individual and utterly unique and don’t you forget it!

Can I please encourage you to search out some outstanding, useful, informative, well-thought-through personalised advice about you and nobody else but you from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about?

After all this gloom and despondency, I need to redress the balance with a huge plate of chips doused in salt and vinegar, accompanied by a large gin and tonic!

Comments from image professionals around the world

"Well, I laughed my socks off today. Well done you. I love your attitude." Louise Morley, Newquay, UK

"I think image consultants (or the thinking ones anyway) do a collective groaning and rolling of the eyes when we come across rubbish like this.

"Re the ’statement’ necklace, some of them should say, "I am a fashion victim"! But most of them are simply saying, "I paid a lot of money for this thing so you’d better notice it!" Kind regards, Jeanette David, Australia

"I enjoyed your blog this week - it makes me laugh when I read generalised info - I got a similarly inane e-mail from (a large department store) this morning!" Sara, Reading, UK

You’ve missed a treat this week. The ladies on my Ladies’ Style course this week are having a whale of a time. We spent the first day on Style Personality which is my favourite bit as I believe understanding your client is the key to understanding what to deliver - none of this silly ‘by rote’ stuff for me, I’m afraid. Find out what makes her tick, what makes her happy (and absolutely what doesn’t) and give her the information and encouragement she needs, and you will have a happy client and friend for life.

Yesterday we took on the tricky subject of body shape. Oh boy! I remember when I first had my body shape ‘diagnosed’ hundreds of years ago - and then, by the way, lived the next 14 years wearing totally the wrong fabrics, shapes, etc. until a massively gifted consultant who treated everyone as an individual put me right. But when I attended my very first Style consultation I had to strip down to my unmentionables - well, I won’t go into how horrid that was again. I felt quite ill when I was telling my story to the ladies yesterday and that’s more than enough trauma for one week, thank you.

I showed them yesterday how to work out anyone’s body shape without having to touch them and absolutely without having to measure them. And they loved it.

What they didn’t know was that I was trialling a new range of body shaping garments under my normal clothes to see if it made a difference to their diagnosis. I’ll be going through this in a bit more detail with them this morning so I’ll report back to you.

But what I discovered for myself about wearing these incredible underthings was worth talking about too. Haven’t got too much time right now as they’re due to arrive in the next few minutes to start our last day together but suffice it to say that my expensive black tailored-to-fit-me trousers gaped at the waist by at least an inch compared to the day before…. What a dreadful problem to have, I can hear you say.

Today we’re looking at how to use fashion trends, how to put a program together for their clients and how to create a sustainable, long-term business relationship with each client which will, naturally, lead to a predictable and substantial income. Must run…