Improvability Blog

Over the years, I have managed to kill off at least half a dozen perfectly innocent basil plants.

1. The first one died because I planted it in the garden.

A friend with green fingers told me that in cold, icy Britain that is tantamount to murder as even a light frost will kill off a basil plant.

So I bought a replacement and a nice pot and put it on my kitchen window sill.

2. The second one died because I forgot to water it.

Another gardening friend told me that basil plants need watering regularly.

3. The third one died because I overwatered it.

I decided to water the 4th just once a fortnight, regardless of whether it looked ‘a bit droopy’ or ‘absolutely fine’.

4. The fourth one died because I didn’t water it enough.

I decided to water the 5th once a week, regardless of what state it was in.

5. The fifth one died - need I explain?

I decided to water the 6th one when it clearly looked ‘in need of watering’.

6. The sixth one died because I had no idea what the difference is between ‘in need of water’ and ‘on its last legs’.

I didn’t buy a 7th.

I decided that I was utterly useless at growing plants, gave myself a good clip round the ear, and gave up.

Salvation was just around the corner

Then one day, I was saved from my own stupidity.

I called on a friend who lives, eats and breathes gardening. Her garden is so beautiful; she’s always digging this, pruning that, planting the other. If she doesn’t know the name of a plant or what to do with it, she gets out every gardening book known to man and researches until she’s found the experts’ answer to her problem. Consequently, her plants flourish because she knows just how to treat them.

This was the friend who had told me to grow my basil plant indoors and, true to her word, on her kitchen window sill was the most gorgeous, lush green basil plant I’d ever seen.

As she put the kettle on and while telling me about her latest purchase of a fabulous new winter coat, she began to water the basil plant. I watched transfixed as she gently grasped the stem of the plant, lifted it completely out of its pot, put a little water in the bottom and replaced the plant.

“So you don’t water basil from the top?” I asked, feeling a right uneducated banana whilst I said it.

“Oh no,” she said. “You need to feed it from its roots. Let the plant pull what water it needs up from the bottom of the pot and, in an hour or so, empty out what it hasn’t used.”

One tiny, simple tip solved my huge, unsolveable problem

All my plants died purely and simply because I didn’t take the time to find out how to water a basil plant properly. If I’d bothered to ask someone who really knew that, ‘Watering from the top kills it. Watering from the bottom makes it flourish,’ none of those poor innocents need have died.

I should be flogged from here to the moon.

Needless to say, my 7th basil plant is the healthiest I’ve ever had. We’ve been together for nearly 3 months now and he’s lush, green, happy and healthy. Last night his succulent, fragrant leaves helped transform our pasta supper dish into something quite heavenly and I’m salivating already at the thought of tomorrow’s lunch of mozzarella cheese and sliced beef tomatoes garnished with basil leaves - all from my very own, properly-watered plant!

And all I had to do was consult an expert

I’d have saved lots and lots of time, money, energy and guilt.

Funny but…

… this sounds a bit like what happened when I had my colours ‘done’ by an expert all those hundreds of years ago….

In the ‘olden days’ we used to work with just 4 style personalities - Classic, Natural, Dramatic and Romantic. Since the early Eighties these numbers and types have expanded, contracted, split into two, expanded some more - but that story is for another time or I’ll be here all day (again!).

Now I work with 6 style personalities - Classic, Natural, Dramatic, Romantic, Creative and European. These are just my titles for them and you can call them whatever you want, of course. But whatever you call them, style personality provides the key to each individual lady and that’s the bit I love the most.

I just love showing ladies who they really are deep down, how to be true to their innate character and how to come out from behind the armour they’ve been wearing for most of their lives! As Jacques describes in ‘As You Like It’:

• All the world’s a stage,
  And all the men and women merely players;
  They have their exits and their entrances,
  And one man in his time plays many parts,
  His acts being seven ages.

Without a doubt, we all have to play many parts during our lives and I don’t think Shakespeare is far wrong with his 7 stages - infant, child, lover, warrior, statesman and sage before the final descent into complete senility (!) - but it’s how we deal with the different hats that we have to wear that either gives us the freedom to be who we really are or to spend the rest of our lives being something we’re not just to live up to the expectations of other people.

I choose freedom

Finally understanding my own style personality was the big hallelujah moment for me.

I realised that I was never going to be the elegant lady that my father wanted me to be so I should ruddy well stop trying ever so hard to be ladylike because I am not my Mum!

I also realised when my best friend used to suggest, “Shall we go for a walk?” when she really meant that she was considering a full-scale assualt of the Matterhorn, that I hated the very idea of being exposed to the elements AND having to dress down in baggy shorts and hobnailed walking boots and that I should stop trying to pretend that anything more than a gentle walk round a garden centre in glamorous heels makes me feel more than faint!

And do you know something amazing?

Since I stopped trying to be what I’m not, both my father and my best friend still love me - just as I am!

Now I show others how to choose freedom for themselves. And I absolutely love it.

If this is what you’d like to do, you can learn right now with my one and only 3-day training course in Ladies’ Style of 2010.

I remember having my style ‘done’ hundreds of years ago and having to change into a leotard in front of one colleague (not even a good friend) and 4 other perfect strangers.

Glory me! What an absolutely hideous experience and I swore there and then I would never do that to MY clients.

At the time, I was a young whippersnapper in my early twenties with a not utterly revolting body but, even so, I was mortified by the experience. 

I don’t remember a word of what the image consultant said or her final diagnosis but I DO remember feeling ugly, horrible and exposed.

Gordon Bennett alone knows what or how the other 5 older, larger ladies felt…

They say that you should always treat people as you would like to be treated.  Well what about treating them even better than that?

Why didn’t that woman make me feel fantastic, fabulous, gorgeous, like a princess? As it happens, with that particular image consultant, I could sit and explain exactly why but I won’t bore you with her history, my history, or even OUR history here. 

Suffice it to say that I learnt a huge lesson that day and if we don’t learn from these experiences and move on, then we may as well stick our heads in a bucket of sand and shuffle off this mortal coil - sometimes only Shakespeare can express my deepest emotions and I apologise profusely for tainting his brilliant words with such a dowdy one as ‘bucket’!

Back to the story…

Why did we have to change into a dratted leotard in the first place?

• So that the so-called expert could pin you against a wall and measure you to within an inch of your life!

And for what reason exactly?

• So that she could then compare your measurements to a drawing of the ‘perfect’ body shape.

Yeah, I can see it all now; it’s as clear as day.  We were all plunged into abject misery at the very thought of our own personal measurements and knew without a doubt that we would never measure up to the ‘perfect’ woman even if we stopped eating for three hundred years!  So, naturally, we all felt fantastic, fabulous, gorgeous, and just like a princess - NOT!

Good grief and glory! (Believe me, this is a severely watered-down version of what I originally wrote)

What a revolting way to treat people and the stupidity of it all is that there is absolutely no need to do any of this.  

I was determined that I would never ask my clients to strip to their undies or measure them or degrade them so I had to search around for other ways of working out whether you’ve got a straight body shape, where your waist is, how long your neck is, whether you’ve got escaping hamsters or bat wings…

I now teach at least 3 different ways of working out what body shape your client is WITHOUT HAVING TO TOUCH HER.

None of this silly measuring nonsense; it’s so unnecessary, so invasive and can feel so humiliating.

The same goes for scale, proportion, whatever you want to call it.  I usually brandish a tape measure around just to demonstrate that I will NOT be using it, and you can see everyone visibly relax straight away.

Let’s be real here.  There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ woman anyway.  What is perfect to one person will be imperfect to someone else so let’s stop this holier-than-thou attitude in our industry and treat everyone as an unique individual who is ‘practically perfect’ just as she is - rather like Mary Poppins.

There are plenty of other reasonable ways to distinguish a lady’s scale, shape, etc. without having to grope her and that’s what I now teach on to other ladies who want their own clients to have lots more fun and feel fantastic, fabulous, gorgeous, and just like a princess in their Style classes.  I hope yours do too!

I’ve been receiving lots of emails over the festive season from consultants who have seen great success in their business during 2009 - remember, this has been touted as a year of ‘recession’…

If you’ve not been so fortunate, you might like to take inspiration from these ladies who just got up off their butt and took some action to ensure the success of their business.

This first one is from Jane who lives on the south coast of England. She completed our Colour in a Box training course about two years ago:

“Thought I’d let you know that business is going well for me; growing with confidence all the time and often replay your words in my head, Kim, ”it’s about what we SEE in the mirror” when faced with those ’unique’ colourings! ” Jane, UK

My reply: “I am so glad to hear that you are doing so well with your business.  There are several ladies like yourself writing in at the moment to say how well their business is doing but I also know from the deafening silence elsewhere that many are just hiding behind the curtains waiting for the recession to miraculously go away.  What a waste!  They could be out there, changing lives, increasing someone else’s confidence (never mind their own), and earning good money!  It’s only those who have the get-up-and-go like you that move on, so very well done!   Sharing your successes is such a major part of being in a solo business so keep emailing me.” Kim

“Thanks Kim… you’re absolutely right, clients don’t just drop through the letterbox  - you have to get out there and be seen, build relationships and trust and then the business starts to come your way. For me, the most important thing is ENJOYING the ride, something I need to remind myself of sometimes, given the ‘perfectionist’ in me! Lots of plans for the New Year, as I’m sure you have… enjoy!” Jane, UK

The second one is from Judith who came to a face-to-face Colour Analysis course here with me in February 2009:

“Everyone told me that I was mad to set up business earlier this year, but actually I have done quite well, especially given the constant doom and gloom about the economy and everything else!  I have started doing cosmetics parties (I also sell some jewellery as well) and they are very popular and I am getting to meet loads of ladies, getting known and getting business!  I have lots of plans for next year - I think you have to be really focused and keep getting out there.” Judith, UK

My reply: “I’m so glad to hear that your business is doing well but then I expected that you would do very well.  You’re focused, determined and business-minded so you just couldn’t fail.  It’s such a pity that there are so many other so-called consultants out there who have just taken to hiding behind the curtains while this so-called recession fades away.  But then, that has created more work for you.  Well done!” Kim

What about YOUR business plans for the New Year?

Do you have any plans at all?

If not, then maybe this is the time to start thinking about what you want from your business in 2010?