Improvability Blog

Tin hats at the ready. This is a rant!

When I’m introducing colour analysis as a new concept, I always take time to talk about the history of this fascinating subject and that, inevitably, leads to questions about some of the idiotic ideas that have emerged from this relatively modern way of analysing people and their personality.

What I find both fascinating and infuriating is how some of these outdated notions still continue to prevail even when common sense and practical application prove that they’re a load of old tosh.

The biggest most-stupid-on-the-planet myth is that only Winters can wear black.

Oh, lead me to a darkened room, pour me a huge gin and tonic, and leave me alone so I can scream until I’m blue in the face and bite huge chunks out of my pillow.

The sheer stupidity of this statement is beyond belief.

Who the heck says that only Winters can wear black?

• Is there a scientist in the entire universe who has proven this beyond all possible doubt?
• Is there a university-level standard that every single image consultant around the globe subscribes to under pain of having their left leg chopped off?

No and no - are the answers to the above, and do you know why?

Because we’re dealing with human beings and you can’t drop human beings into 4 convenient little boxes like Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter, because human beings are a moving target and are totally and utterly indefinable. And I say, thank glory for that, otherwise I’d have given up this great career yonks ago out of sheer and utter boredom.

So who is it exactly that says only Winters can wear black?

Those pioneers who put pen to paper in the early days of colour analysis came up with all sorts of attempts at regularising the process. I can only surmise that this was intended to make it easier for those who were training to become colour consultants.

Maybe they insisted on a step-by-step, cannot-be-argued-with diagnosis of hair, skin and eye colour to make ‘their’ consultations easier? Because of their insatiable need to know whether they’d ‘got it right’ or not, we’ve now ended up with tables of impractical rules and regulations that completely miss the point anyway.

We have moved on so much since those pioneering days. We continue to learn at an astounding rate with every new client that crosses our portal and yet some folk seem determined to cling on to these out-dated rules as though their very life depends upon it.

Enough is enough.

Colour analysis isn’t about rules

Because there aren’t any. There can’t be. We’re dealing with a moving target - human beings - who change on a daily basis, some from hour to hour (just ask a menopausal woman how she felt an hour ago!).

We have so many parameters to take into account - occasions to be appropriately dressed for, other people’s expectations to meet, and our own personality. How on earth can a set of ‘rules’ cater for real life?

How do you FEEL?

• If you LOOK good in black, then why not wear it?
• If, however, you FEEL fabulous in black, then for goodness sake stop listening to someone else’s inane rules and wear it immediately!

Here’s a great example of someone who shouldn’t - according to the ‘rules’ - be wearing black at all but looks fabulous and feels wonderfully confident about wearing it.

These two photos of my friend Jean were taken while we were modelling together at a recent fashion show:

Jean is a Classic Autumn. And she looks lovely in black. More to the point, she feels fabulous wearing black.

When we first started working together on her wardrobe, Jean wasn’t happy in black at all. She’d been told previously that, as an Autumn, she shouldn’t wear it so she didn’t!

But as we started to find clothes that suited her colouring, her body shape AND her personality all together, we both realised that black was going to play a much larger role in shaping her overall image.

We began with accessories, matching shoes and handbags in black, the ubiquitous black trousers, gloves, and necklaces. Then, one day on a shopping trip, I managed to get her to try on a black top.

Ok, ok, I lie. I shoved the top into the changing booth and told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to come out unless she was wearing it! Jean is a good sport and trusts me that I wouldn’t put her in anything that would make her look ghastly.

She was really surprised by how good she looked and although neither of us would want to see her in nothing but black from head to foot, black is now a great addition to Jean’s wardrobe - as you can see.

Oh, and you’ll notice how Jean’s hair colour puts to rest yet another moronic, mindless myth - that all Autumns and Winters must have dark hair.

What a pile of poppycock - but if you get me started on that one, I’ll still be ranting as they lower me six feet under..

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The entire catalogue can be found at
http://improvability.co.uk/consultants/

Over the years, I have managed to kill off at least half a dozen perfectly innocent basil plants.

1. The first one died because I planted it in the garden.

A friend with green fingers told me that in cold, icy Britain that is tantamount to murder as even a light frost will kill off a basil plant.

So I bought a replacement and a nice pot and put it on my kitchen window sill.

2. The second one died because I forgot to water it.

Another gardening friend told me that basil plants need watering regularly.

3. The third one died because I overwatered it.

I decided to water the 4th just once a fortnight, regardless of whether it looked ‘a bit droopy’ or ‘absolutely fine’.

4. The fourth one died because I didn’t water it enough.

I decided to water the 5th once a week, regardless of what state it was in.

5. The fifth one died - need I explain?

I decided to water the 6th one when it clearly looked ‘in need of watering’.

6. The sixth one died because I had no idea what the difference is between ‘in need of water’ and ‘on its last legs’.

I didn’t buy a 7th.

I decided that I was utterly useless at growing plants, gave myself a good clip round the ear, and gave up.

Salvation was just around the corner

Then one day, I was saved from my own stupidity.

I called on a friend who lives, eats and breathes gardening. Her garden is so beautiful; she’s always digging this, pruning that, planting the other. If she doesn’t know the name of a plant or what to do with it, she gets out every gardening book known to man and researches until she’s found the experts’ answer to her problem. Consequently, her plants flourish because she knows just how to treat them.

This was the friend who had told me to grow my basil plant indoors and, true to her word, on her kitchen window sill was the most gorgeous, lush green basil plant I’d ever seen.

As she put the kettle on and while telling me about her latest purchase of a fabulous new winter coat, she began to water the basil plant. I watched transfixed as she gently grasped the stem of the plant, lifted it completely out of its pot, put a little water in the bottom and replaced the plant.

“So you don’t water basil from the top?” I asked, feeling a right uneducated banana whilst I said it.

“Oh no,” she said. “You need to feed it from its roots. Let the plant pull what water it needs up from the bottom of the pot and, in an hour or so, empty out what it hasn’t used.”

One tiny, simple tip solved my huge, unsolveable problem

All my plants died purely and simply because I didn’t take the time to find out how to water a basil plant properly. If I’d bothered to ask someone who really knew that, ‘Watering from the top kills it. Watering from the bottom makes it flourish,’ none of those poor innocents need have died.

I should be flogged from here to the moon.

Needless to say, my 7th basil plant is the healthiest I’ve ever had. We’ve been together for nearly 3 months now and he’s lush, green, happy and healthy. Last night his succulent, fragrant leaves helped transform our pasta supper dish into something quite heavenly and I’m salivating already at the thought of tomorrow’s lunch of mozzarella cheese and sliced beef tomatoes garnished with basil leaves - all from my very own, properly-watered plant!

And all I had to do was consult an expert

I’d have saved lots and lots of time, money, energy and guilt.

Funny but…

… this sounds a bit like what happened when I had my colours ‘done’ by an expert all those hundreds of years ago….

One day an old Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson.

He said, “There are two wolves fighting inside all of us - the wolf of fear and hate, and the wolf of love and peace.”

The grandson listened, then looked up at his grandfather and asked, “Which one will win?”

The grandfather replied, “The one we feed.”