Do You Attract Respect
Do you attract respect when you shop?
When I was training to be an image consultant (and that was at least a hundred years ago), we were detailed to visit the best department store in town and make a beeline for the ‘posh frocks’ section on the first floor. Our first brief was to go in dressed in jeans, trainers/flats and anorak and to record how we fared. None of us scored any points on that first foray. I reckon that even if I’d lain down on the floor and screamed my lungs out, not one of the ‘superior’ assistants would have taken a blind bit of notice of me. The second part of the experiment was to change into smart skirt and jacket, add stockings and court shoes, at least run a comb through our hair, and add a slick of mascara and a touch of lip colour. The difference was utterly amazing. As I stretched out a hand to check out a lovely jacket hanging on one of the display stands, before you could say, “Cor blimey, guv!” (or some such short-winded colloquialism), one of the ‘superior’ assistants was at my elbow with an outstandingly courteous, “Can I help you, madam?”
Now, just what had changed? In both cases, I only had enough money in my pocket to buy a cup of coffee but the perception of how wealthy I was had been altered radically by what I was wearing – and this, consequently, had changed how much confidence I oozed. I looked (and felt) as though I could afford the ‘posh frocks’ when I was wearing ‘acceptable’ clothing and the ‘superior’ assistants then felt able to afford me some courtesy and respect. Dressed like a scruffy student made them perceive that I had no money to spend and, therefore, they would be wasting their time on showing me any clothes – as I ‘clearly’ couldn’t afford them.
Just compare that to the situation in the film ‘Pretty Woman’ when Julia Roberts’ hooker character goes into a really upmarket shop on Rodeo Drive looking for a ‘posh frock’. Mr ‘trillionaire’ Gere has given her so much money that she could probably buy the shop itself! However, the ‘superior’ assistants ask her to leave because she ‘clearly’ hasn’t got two cents to rub together. How do they come to this incredible conclusion? Because the dear darling looks like a less-than-desirable; thigh-high vinyl boots, the tiniest of micro skirts, a scrap of material which seems to serve as a top and only just covers her vitals, cheap earrings, etc. She looks like a prostitute and is, therefore, not ‘suitable’ to be afforded any respect or courtesy.
The ‘Pretty Woman’ example is an extreme but extremes are often the best way to demonstrate just how you can severely affect the way that people treat you. Let’s be real here; when someone first sees you, they have to form an extremely quick impression of whether they want to talk / do business with you – or not! How you look, what you’re wearing, how you stand, your posture, whether you invade their private space, etc. – all these elements go to make a first impression and it all happens in a nanosecond (well, the statistics say up to 35 seconds but I reckon that most women are way ahead of that one!). For goodness’ sake, what else do we have to go on?
And don’t fool yourself that you don’t do just the same to other people – because you jolly well do! It’s human nature to look each other up and down, arriving at all sorts of nonsensical conclusions about others but, if you understand the rules of this particular game, you will soon be playing it to suit you and get what you want.
So, if you would like to be treated well, with courtesy and respect, in any situation I strongly suggest that you dress well:
- Choose only the best colours from your seasonal palette that make you look healthy, efficient and able
- Select only the best styles to suit your body shape, scale and personality
- Wear clothes that you feel (and, therefore, look) comfortable in
- Choose clothes that are suitable for the occasion (remember ‘Pretty Woman’)
The confidence you will feel from looking good will then translate into looking and feeler even better about yourself. And, with a little bit of luck or a slap round the ear from me (you choose!), this should all make you smile. Remember, a smile is of absolutely no use to you; you must give it away so get out there, look fabulous, smile and bring a shimmer of light into this disdainful world, and encourage others to treat you with the respect and courtesy that you so obviously deserve.
Colour and Style Training & Workshops
The last workshop was absolutey incredible. Seven ladies had a fabulous day discovering their best colour directions and which styles to wear to suit their body shape, scale and personality. Personally, it was a privilege to have spent this time with such lovely ladies – they made friends and encouraged each other so much, and have since gone on to revamp their wardrobes and find a new confidence in how they look – read comments from the day. Looks out for workshops, events and training on our websites.
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