What to Wear at a Wedding
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 by Kim BolsoverWhat to wear as a wedding guest
Back from a very rare day’s shopping (normally I hate it!) I finally had my shoes and handbag for my brother’s wedding.
My dilemma
The problem for me personally is that I am a Dramatic, and a Winter. My best colours are black, white and pink (or red). Clearly an all-white outfit is a no-go area for any guest. And black from head to foot gives entirely the wrong signal – a cousin of mine got married thirty something years ago and I remember his mother-in-law turning up in a black suit, clearly signalling her disapproval of the nuptials. This was further confirmed by her reluctance to sign the marriage register and… well, I could go on, but you get my drift.
So, pink (or red) from head to foot sounds the most appropriate, doesn’t it? Well, if this wasn’t my brother’s wedding, then I would probably go for it but let’s just take a minute here to consider the consequences of that. I will be included in the close-family photos and my sister-in-law-to-be is a Soft/muted Summer who doesn’t need to wear colour at all. Between us, we have chosen a neutral colour theme for this wedding and I need to complement that, not stand out like a sore thumb.
The wedding theme
The brid will be wearing ivory and the 7 bridesmaids will all be in teal (universal colours are incredibly useful in this situation). The three 5-year olds will wear teal satin party frocks, the two 15-year olds will wear straight teal dresses that look as much like trousers as possible(!), and the two 30-plus sisters will wear teal knee-length shift dresses with a bolero jacket. And all the gentleman will be wearing matching teal cravats!
The solution
So, I have chosen a block black handkerchief-hem skirt with an off-white lacy top, black satin Lisa Kay stilettos to match my large organza black hat. I will be quite tall with such heels on, so I imagine that I will be in the back row and all that will be on show in the photos will be my top and hat! I think it will work; I will be wearing my best colours so I will feel good but I won’t be detracting from the main focus of the day – the bride.
For the evening ‘do’, I will change into a pillar-box red top. And as I will be touching up everyone’s lipstick throughout the day, I have a fabulous black vintage-style handbag with a long shoulder strap which allows me to keep my hands free to work.
So what will you wear?
- Use the occasion to dress up. After all, how often do we get the chance these days?
- Choose colours to complement your skin tone or you will look poorly
- Do not upstage the bride! It’s her day, not yours.
- The only person who should be in an all-white outfit is the bride.
- If you’re part of the family, then ask if there is a colour theme to the wedding and choose an outfit to complement that
- Consider your footwear. If the photos are to be taken on grass, will your fancy stilettos be up to you tottering around on an uneven surface?
- The event might be planned for a hoped-for warm day. What if it turns cold, or rains? Keep a brolly in the car, and throw in a light jacket or wrap that complements your outfit.
Be true to yourself when choosing your outfit
Why is it that, at a wedding, the largest lady there is always wearing the smallest hat, the tiniest shoes and carrying the weeniest handbag? All everybody else sees is a larger lady trying to look smaller, and it just doesn’t work.
- If you are a larger lady, then go for larger accessories
- If you are a smaller lady, choose small, delicate accessories
- And if you are a medium-size lady, then choose accessories which are neither too small nor too large.
And I’m not just talking about your physical size. Maybe you are medium size physically but your personality is large? Then go for larger accessories too!
Hats
Weddings are the perfect occasion to wear a hat. If you feel good wearing a hat, then go for it:
- A hat should be no wider than your shoulders
- Wear it horizontally and it will widen your face
- Wear it tilted at an angle to slim your face
- A hat which matches your outfit will make you look taller
- A hat which contrasts with your outfit will make you look shorter
- Understand the material of your hat; if it rains, will the colour run?
I hope your stint as a wedding guest goes without a hitch.
Did you know…
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I trained two ladies from Barcelona who fell about laughing when I mentioned that navy was an important neutral in most ladies’ wardrobes. “Not in Spain!” they shrieked, as I attempted to revive them with a large brandy each. “You only wear navy if you work for the electricity board!”
What do you need this coat for? If it’s for the school run or to go to work in five days a week, don’t just choose something functional and warm. Have some fun with your new coat; inject some of your personality into it. If you’re going to be snuggled up together every day, then enjoy each other’s company. Ok, so a full-length white number in cashmere is going to require some major dry-cleaning investment but why not look at one of the many textured fabrics that are around this season (tweeds and herringbones) – or go for a plain colour with some added details?
