Improvability Blog

What to wear as a wedding guest

Back from a very rare day’s shopping (normally I hate it!) I finally had my shoes and handbag for my brother’s wedding.

My dilemma

The problem for me personally is that I am a Dramatic, and a Winter. My best colours are black, white and pink (or red). Clearly an all-white outfit is a no-go area for any guest. And black from head to foot gives entirely the wrong signal – a cousin of mine got married thirty something years ago and I remember his mother-in-law turning up in a black suit, clearly signalling her disapproval of the nuptials. This was further confirmed by her reluctance to sign the marriage register and… well, I could go on, but you get my drift.

So, pink (or red) from head to foot sounds the most appropriate, doesn’t it? Well, if this wasn’t my brother’s wedding, then I would probably go for it but let’s just take a minute here to consider the consequences of that. I will be included in the close-family photos and my sister-in-law-to-be is a Soft/muted Summer who doesn’t need to wear colour at all. Between us, we have chosen a neutral colour theme for this wedding and I need to complement that, not stand out like a sore thumb.

The wedding theme

The brid will be wearing ivory and the 7 bridesmaids will all be in teal (universal colours are incredibly useful in this situation). The three 5-year olds will wear teal satin party frocks, the two 15-year olds will wear straight teal dresses that look as much like trousers as possible(!), and the two 30-plus sisters will wear teal knee-length shift dresses with a bolero jacket. And all the gentleman will be wearing matching teal cravats!

The solution

So, I have chosen a block black handkerchief-hem skirt with an off-white lacy top, black satin Lisa Kay stilettos to match my large organza black hat. I will be quite tall with such heels on, so I imagine that I will be in the back row and all that will be on show in the photos will be my top and hat! I think it will work; I will be wearing my best colours so I will feel good but I won’t be detracting from the main focus of the day – the bride.

For the evening ‘do’, I will change into a pillar-box red top. And as I will be touching up everyone’s lipstick throughout the day, I have a fabulous black vintage-style handbag with a long shoulder strap which allows me to keep my hands free to work.

So what will you wear?

• Use the occasion to dress up. After all, how often do we get the chance these days?
• Choose colours to complement your skin tone or you will look poorly
• Do not upstage the bride! It’s her day, not yours.
• The only person who should be in an all-white outfit is the bride.
• If you’re part of the family, then ask if there is a colour theme to the wedding and choose an outfit to complement that
• Consider your footwear. If the photos are to be taken on grass, will your fancy stilettos be up to you tottering around on an uneven surface?
• The event might be planned for a hoped-for warm day. What if it turns cold, or rains? Keep a brolly in the car, and throw in a light jacket or wrap that complements your outfit.

Be true to yourself when choosing your outfit

Why is it that, at a wedding, the largest lady there is always wearing the smallest hat, the tiniest shoes and carrying the weeniest handbag? All everybody else sees is a larger lady trying to look smaller, and it just doesn’t work.

• If you are a larger lady, then go for larger accessories
• If you are a smaller lady, choose small, delicate accessories
• And if you are a medium-size lady, then choose accessories which are neither too small nor too large.

And I’m not just talking about your physical size. Maybe you are medium size physically but your personality is large? Then go for larger accessories too!

Hats

Weddings are the perfect occasion to wear a hat. If you feel good wearing a hat, then go for it:

• A hat should be no wider than your shoulders
• Wear it horizontally and it will widen your face
• Wear it tilted at an angle to slim your face
• A hat which matches your outfit will make you look taller
• A hat which contrasts with your outfit will make you look shorter
• Understand the material of your hat; if it rains, will the colour run?

I hope your stint as a wedding guest goes without a hitch.

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Did you know that 70% of all clothes sold in the UK are black?

Why is that?

Is is that the fashion buyers just fill their shops with black because they know we’ll buy it because it’s safe, or is it us saying, “Just give us black, because then we’re safe!”

And when it comes to buying a new winter coat, it will be no surprise to you, then, to discover that most women make a beeline for black. “Surely not?” you cry. Do you look good in black? Do you feel good in black? If you are answering no to either or both of these questions, then why are you wasting good money on buying a black coat?

A winter coat is often a major investment and should last you for several seasons so it’s worth putting some thought into what will look good with the rest of your wardrobe – assuming, of course, that you have already started weeding out the unusables and moving towards a co-ordinated wardrobe? You have, haven’t you?

What colour?

Black will NOT automatically go with everything and don’t listen to any so-called expert who tells you it will! Neither should you listen to rubbish expounded by out-of-date colour consultants who tell you that only Winters can wear black. They are still wading around in the mire of their own bumblings and need putting out to grass, poor darlings! Remind them that we’ve come a long way in the world of colour since the early 80s and we now acknowledge that everyone is unique. The rules (and, in my book, they’re just there to be broken) say that warm-toned ladies will absolutely never look good in black. Just my opinion, but I think the Duchess of York looks absolutely wonderful in black – I rest my case!

But even if you do look good in black, why not try something different this season – just for the heck of it? If you have warm skin tones, try camel or chocolate, and if you have a cooler look, try grey or charcoal. And navy is always a fabulous option for just about all of us as it always looks smart.

I trained two ladies from Barcelona who fell about laughing when I mentioned that navy was an important neutral in most ladies’ wardrobes. “Not in Spain!” they shrieked, as I attempted to revive them with a large brandy each. “You only wear navy if you work for the electricity board!”

So I nearly fell off my perch when I saw the Autumn stock arriving in my favourite Spanish boutique – deepest Marine navy everywhere! Suits, coats, jackets, dresses, trousers, and tops – but all being matched in an extremely Continental fashion with deepest chocolate brown – very classy, but very un-British (as we know it, Jim!).

And the moral of that story? Don’t be misled by ‘usual practice’ or what you normally see happening. Fashion comes and goes; the old ‘rules’ are being broken more and more (probably because the fashion industry has done the old-hat routine for so long that we’re all fed up of it), so wear what you feel and look fabulous in.

What shape?

Do you have a waist? If not, then go for a straight up-and-down coat. If you have a discernible waist, then choose something more shaped.

Your lifestyle?

What do you need this coat for? If it’s for the school run or to go to work in five days a week, don’t just choose something functional and warm. Have some fun with your new coat; inject some of your personality into it. If you’re going to be snuggled up together every day, then enjoy each other’s company. Ok, so a full-length white number in cashmere is going to require some major dry-cleaning investment but why not look at one of the many textured fabrics that are around this season (tweeds and herringbones) – or go for a plain colour with some added details?

Piping, ornate buttons, fake fur, detachable collars are all details to look out for. If your budget allows for one coat to suit all eventualities, then add the detachable collar or replace the belt for your more dressy events, or add a special silk or cashmere scarf in your best accent colour. Details:

• I can’t see the point of a coat (or a jacket) without proper pockets. Do you need somewhere to put the car keys or your gloves?
• Do you like a collar or do you prefer edge-to-edge?
• Would you like it to button up or not? I have to be freezing my wotsits off before I’ll even consider fastening my coat. Typical Dramatic, I am. What about you? If you always button up then you need to check how well the coat hangs when fastened.
• Do you regularly use a shoulder bag? Will the darned thing keep slipping off the fabric of your new coat?
• What are you going to wear under this coat? If you regularly wear skirts/dresses, then your coat should be longer than your skirt hem line. So, do yourself a favour and go to the shops dressed in what you are going to wear under your coat! Don’t go in a pair of jeans and trainers if you are buying this to wear in the evenings to the theatre or dinner, etc.

Come up with a list of points that you are looking for and, when you hit the shops, you’ll be able to whizz past all the wrong colours, all the wrong shapes and fabrics, and only try on those coats that you’re prepared to spend money on. You’ll save time, money and that horrid little demon that gets us all at some time or another – guilt!

Happy shopping!

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